Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Angel Mommy Guest Bloggers!

So I was thinking last night how fun would it be to do an "Angel Mommy Guest Blogger" event. Here is how it will work!
What: Angel Mommy Guest Blogger
Where: Here on my blog!
When: Now!
Who: Angel Mommies
Requirements to be a guest blogger: Must be an angel mommy, must be willing to blog about how my story has touched you, and introduce yourself and your angel to my readers!
How it works: email me and I will send you the direct email address to post something on my blog!
I really really want to connect other mom's together who have lost babies. I think this would be great! You can blog about your story, and how my story and my angels have affected you!
If you are interested please email me at david.alyssa@hotmail.com

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Nadine & California...

So as most of you know, my daughter Nadine has to go to California to visit her "egg donor" (now known as ED from now on) a couple times a year. It's hard on us because we know how ED is, and she has never tried to be involved in Nadine's life. In fact before she bought the plane ticket we hadn't heard from her in over a month. I just don't understand how a person who does nothing for the child, doesn't call or keep in touch, has never even sent a birthday card...gets to have unsupervised visits.

Nadine left last Saturday morning to CA. We were sad, worried about how she was going to be taken care of, and nervous as we have been the other times. They called us as soon as her plane landed and we talked to her and everything was fine. ED sent me a picture message of Nadine and her sister that night and then we didn't hear from her again. We called Saturday night, all day Sunday and Monday, and heard nothing back from her.

I just had a feeling and looked up the jail info and found out ED was in jail. She had been arrested the night Nadine got there and no one had called us. I called ED's mom and told her we knew ED was in jail and where was our baby. She had been left with ED's boyfriend and her sisters, and he had let them stay with neighbors. I was soooo upset! Why didn't they call us? Why was she allowed to stay with strangers????

My mother in law picked her up and Nadine is now visiting with family. She is safe, which is all that matters to me. She is getting to see her brother and sister who live out there, and has visited her cousins too. She is happy and having fun!

ED is on a 30 day hold waiting for extradition to MO. She had a felony warrant from when she lived out here. So we are praying this helps our child custody case, to have the court order changed to supervised visits in MO, no more going to CA. Pray for us! The whole situation is just sad, I'm glad Nadine isn't attached enough to ED to be sad about this, or for it to be causing her problems. She is just as happy to be with Grandma :)

Other than that I am just tired from working. It's been awhile for me...and of course still missing my babies every minute of every day!

update....Chris and I have been together 10 years...but were seperated for about 3...it was in that time Nadine was born, but her "egg donor" left when she was 6 months old and Chris was raising her when we got back together, I've raised her since she was a year and a half old...and yes Nadine was with ED when she was pulled over and arrested but thankfully has really hadn't even had an issue over it...

Monday, July 6, 2009

I Don't Want To Be...

I don't want to be the expert on babies dying.

I don't want to be ONE OF THEM.

I don't want to be the mom that is called in the middle of the night to be asked about going into labor premature. I don't want to be the woman who know's all the answers to give about premature babies, and babies born with birth defects.

I don't want to be the person who know's how much pain a family will be in those first couple days, months, and even years.

I never realized how many babies died, how the dream of a healthy pregnancy can be shattered in an instant. I never realized how widespread the effects of miscarriage and pregnancy loss really is.

I don't want to be one of the mommy's who is crying for her babies.

I don't want to be without my babies.

I don't want to be blogging about my don't want to be's...

Thursday, July 2, 2009

So Tired...

I am so tired everyday when I come home from work. I'm not used to a day without naps. Pretty sad for a 30 year old lol...but I am glad to be working!

I will try to post more, I'm gonna figure out how I can email my posts, and then I can do it on my free time at work. SHHHH don't tell anyone! Actually I work really hard, and it's rare I have down time so I deserve to blog a little. I've already had two supervisors tell me that I'm doing great and they are glad I'm working so good :)

Today I did leave a couple hours early. My dear sweet friend Karin called to tell me that her fiancee (and father of her son) died yesterday. I was stunned. I was so upset hearing her cry, that I just cried with her. I know the pain of loosing a significant other must be horrible. I can imagine there are a lot of the same emotions as loosing a child, but it's a different type of grieving. Please please keep Karin and her son in your prayers.