Happy 3rd birthday David James

Dear David,

Happy 3rd birthday son. I remember the day you were born, the first time I saw you...like it was yesterday. My sweet baby boy with all your gorgeous black hair. You looked like Mommy, and like your baby sister Maya looks.

I talk to you all the time in my head, you know that baby boy. There isn't a day that goes by that you aren't on my mind, I carry you in my heart always. I miss you everyday.

I hope today you are up there playing with Alyssa, that your Grandpa's are giving you lots of love and telling you how much your Mommy loves and misses you. Sometimes I don't know how I can go on without you here with me, right now I'm very sad baby. Please be with Mommy today, I need you, I love you.

The First Steps - Walking With You

http://blog.sufficientgraceministries.org/category/walking-with-you/

I went into premature labor with Alyssa at 22 weeks. I was in labor 30 hours, and at the beginning we had hope that labor would stop and I would stay in the hospital for the rest of my pregnancy on bed rest. My water had broke, I developed an infection, and my labor never stopped.

With David I found out when I was 27 weeks along that he had a heart problem. I laid on the ultrasound table and wept as the doctor told us something was wrong. "I told you this would happen, you're diabetic, this is all your fault." were her exact words. I remember telling myself I would never, ever come back to this doctor's office no matter what. The next 9 weeks were the longest of my life. We moved to be near the children's hospital David would be at, we were told that with surgery David would live, but that we still had to see what all was wrong when he was born. We were prepared, and so hopeful.

Update's on us...

It really has been a long time since I've blogged here regularly. I miss that so much. With David's birthday next week, I need to be here. Since it has been so long I feel the need to do an update.

I have been working for over a year now doing telemarketing for a major hotel chain. I love the people I work with, but honestly the job has it's ups and downs. In all I am thankful I am working, I think I needed out of the house and work was the only way it was going to happen.

Me & Chris

Nadine is almost 9 (March 3rd) and in the 3rd grade. She still is my bratty drama queen :) She is so talented in art, and drawing, being creative. She is growing up so fast, and becoming such a young lady. She recently was involved with a group at school called "Girls on the Run" and completed a 5k run! I'm so proud of her.

Nadine - 8 years old

Miss. Maya is now 18 months old. She is healthy, and perfect in every way. She truly is a happy baby, literally every morning wakes up with a smile. She is a little babbling machine, and loves to play with her babies :)

Maya - 18 months

Getting Close

It's getting close to being David's 3rd birthday. I'm emotional, overwhelmed, and anxious. I miss him so much.

I've missed blogging here. Somehow it makes me feel at "home" with David. This was HIS blog, I made this for HIM. How I miss my baby boy.

Going to work on my blog roll, and changing my old blog info to more current. I will be back.

Is anyone out there?

Is there anyone out there? I need to blog, I need to be back here where all my memories are with David. I need to be close to him right now.

I am going to redo my blog, give it a new name, a new beginning in my journey. Is anyone out there?

It's Been Awhile

It's been awhile since I've been here, but I've missed it. I don't know how I got side tracked in life to not blog like I have always loved. I want to start some changes in my life, and I feel the love and support I need can be found through this blog. First let me update you on my family, and then I will tell you about the changes.

Nadine just turned 8! She had her first dance at school, I didn't realize they started in the 2nd grade. It was a great time for her, Daddy, and Maya (I was at work sadly). She is doing great in school and bringing her reading to such a great level that she has been told she will probably get an award for it :)

Maya is 9 months and getting so big! She has 7 teeth, sits up by herself, eats everything in sight, say's DaDa (I'm a lil mad about this lol) and is about to crawl any day. She definetly makes her Mommy smile everyday, I can't believe I am blessed with this little miracle!

So for the changes in my life. I am working now, luckily I work the opposite schedule as my hubby so we don't need a babysitter most of the time. I do have a good friend who watches the girls 2 Saturdays a month while I work, which I am grateful for. Working has done a lot for me mainly just getting me out in the world and socializing more. Plus the money helps ALOT.

I started reading the Purpose Filled Life book, has anyone read it? I really want to devote my life to God, to really change myself and my life to raise these girls the way God wants me to. I need more Christian moms in my life, women who can help guide me and give me encouragement and advice. I hope to share my journey with everyone.

I also am starting to get serious about couponing! It's so much fun to save money, it's like a game finding the best deal!

Over the next few days I will be adding new blog list's to my page, and hopefully finding more inspirational women I can follow.

As always I am missing my babies in Heaven. I had a little melt down yesterday looking at David's pictures in my phone. I miss him and Alyssa so much. I miss that Maya will never know them on Earth.

Miss. Maya

First off, I never wanted to be the mom who had a baby and never posted again, or rarely did. Let me tell you that I plan to do more, but just wanted to share these pictures of Maya first!

Maya Loyal-Marie
6-23-10
9lbs 3oz...now 11 lbs 9oz!

And in the pic of her with the seahorse...that was her big brother David's he held in the NICU ;)