Monday, July 6, 2009

I Don't Want To Be...

I don't want to be the expert on babies dying.

I don't want to be ONE OF THEM.

I don't want to be the mom that is called in the middle of the night to be asked about going into labor premature. I don't want to be the woman who know's all the answers to give about premature babies, and babies born with birth defects.

I don't want to be the person who know's how much pain a family will be in those first couple days, months, and even years.

I never realized how many babies died, how the dream of a healthy pregnancy can be shattered in an instant. I never realized how widespread the effects of miscarriage and pregnancy loss really is.

I don't want to be one of the mommy's who is crying for her babies.

I don't want to be without my babies.

I don't want to be blogging about my don't want to be's...

5 comments:

Michele said...

I hear you. I was just talking to someone who recently lost a child and it hit me hard that I'm lumped into the "please call her" when this happens. I dont mind being there... It's just that I wish none of us were there.

Sending you hugs...

Sue said...

Been following your blog for awhile. I am really really sorry about your losses. I'm not religious but I keep you in my thoughts, because I can't even imagine alittle bit, how it must feel. I can't. Just wanted to let you know I like your blog and I am really sorry for the pain/sadness you are going through. I hope time can help with the losses alittle bit. Never something you get over. Take care of yourself!!!!!
Sue

Tammy On the Go said...

I am sorry for being one of thoes people who would push others on you. I just recently did that do a friend and never thought a thing about it...you have given me wisdom, but I am sorry it came through your pain.

My Very Own Angel said...

This is so true. I didn't think I would ever be that mom either. I didn't think I would be able to understand infant and pregnancy loss. But after losing my son I am that mom. I am that same as you and so many other mothers. But you know what? we are wonderful, strong women for what we go through. Women in general are strong, those who lose their children are even stronger, and those who talk about it are the strongest.

God bless you

veganinthecountry said...

i don[t want to be part of this club anymore either. in the beginning, i was so grateful to find the rest of you so i didn't have to be alone. but lately i think about going to my blog and visiting others' blogs and i think vehemently NO, i'm done with this. i'm so over it.