I didn't know until this morning that my husband reads my blog! I was suprised, shocked, and happy. Sometimes a lot of what I blog about is stuff I can't talk about in real life. As vocal as I am in my blog about my feelings, when it comes to actually speaking them to another person...
I tend to keep it inside. When the words come out of my mouth so do the tears.
So I just wanted to let you know how much I love you Christopher. You are my heart, my soul, my everything. Without you in my life I don't know where I would be without you. In all honesty if we hadn't got back together when we did I would probably be lost in the world with no one. You are the only man I've ever loved, the only one I will ever love other than our son.
I couldn't have made it through loosing Alyssa without you. I couldn't have made it through loosing David without you. I couldn't have made it through any of our hard times without you. You are my strength, my rock, my everything.
I am so sorry that we have had to go through everything we have. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with loosing our babies. I feel so guilty for all the pain you have gone through because of me. The last thing in the world I ever want is you to be hurt or sad. I love you Daddy.
You are the only man I would ever want to be the father of my children. You make me so proud.