Happy 3rd birthday David James

Dear David,

Happy 3rd birthday son. I remember the day you were born, the first time I saw you...like it was yesterday. My sweet baby boy with all your gorgeous black hair. You looked like Mommy, and like your baby sister Maya looks.

I talk to you all the time in my head, you know that baby boy. There isn't a day that goes by that you aren't on my mind, I carry you in my heart always. I miss you everyday.

I hope today you are up there playing with Alyssa, that your Grandpa's are giving you lots of love and telling you how much your Mommy loves and misses you. Sometimes I don't know how I can go on without you here with me, right now I'm very sad baby. Please be with Mommy today, I need you, I love you.

The First Steps - Walking With You

http://blog.sufficientgraceministries.org/category/walking-with-you/

I went into premature labor with Alyssa at 22 weeks. I was in labor 30 hours, and at the beginning we had hope that labor would stop and I would stay in the hospital for the rest of my pregnancy on bed rest. My water had broke, I developed an infection, and my labor never stopped.

With David I found out when I was 27 weeks along that he had a heart problem. I laid on the ultrasound table and wept as the doctor told us something was wrong. "I told you this would happen, you're diabetic, this is all your fault." were her exact words. I remember telling myself I would never, ever come back to this doctor's office no matter what. The next 9 weeks were the longest of my life. We moved to be near the children's hospital David would be at, we were told that with surgery David would live, but that we still had to see what all was wrong when he was born. We were prepared, and so hopeful.

Update's on us...

It really has been a long time since I've blogged here regularly. I miss that so much. With David's birthday next week, I need to be here. Since it has been so long I feel the need to do an update.

I have been working for over a year now doing telemarketing for a major hotel chain. I love the people I work with, but honestly the job has it's ups and downs. In all I am thankful I am working, I think I needed out of the house and work was the only way it was going to happen.

Me & Chris

Nadine is almost 9 (March 3rd) and in the 3rd grade. She still is my bratty drama queen :) She is so talented in art, and drawing, being creative. She is growing up so fast, and becoming such a young lady. She recently was involved with a group at school called "Girls on the Run" and completed a 5k run! I'm so proud of her.

Nadine - 8 years old

Miss. Maya is now 18 months old. She is healthy, and perfect in every way. She truly is a happy baby, literally every morning wakes up with a smile. She is a little babbling machine, and loves to play with her babies :)

Maya - 18 months

Getting Close

It's getting close to being David's 3rd birthday. I'm emotional, overwhelmed, and anxious. I miss him so much.

I've missed blogging here. Somehow it makes me feel at "home" with David. This was HIS blog, I made this for HIM. How I miss my baby boy.

Going to work on my blog roll, and changing my old blog info to more current. I will be back.

Is anyone out there?

Is there anyone out there? I need to blog, I need to be back here where all my memories are with David. I need to be close to him right now.

I am going to redo my blog, give it a new name, a new beginning in my journey. Is anyone out there?