Friday, May 1, 2009

Life Just Isn't Fair...

As we are nearing our March for Babies walk this Sunday I think it's just taking an emotional toll on me. I haven't been able to sleep, staying up until atleast 3 or 4AM just laying in bed praying I fall asleep, or even something that resembles it.

Last night I cried for a good hour thinking of David. I kept thinking about the lil brown bear he held in his arm the majority of the time he was in the hospital. We gave it to his uncle (also his namesake, Uncle David) because he wasn't able to hold David, so we wanted him to have what David held. I hope that makes sense.

All I could think about is where is the bear at in Uncle David's house? Does he take it out and look at it like I would? Does he kiss it and tell David he loves him? Is there a possibility when I am in California could I break into their house, find the bear and steal it with no one ever knowing it's me?

I miss David more than words can ever say. I hope I make it through the walk, seeing the Baby Blvd with a sign for each of our babies in Heaven along with all the other babies up there them.

I am also so emotional about my niece Kayla. Please please read her blog, I posted an update just awhile ago. She is going to have to have her leg amputated. This is all too much for me.

3 comments:

Trennia said...

praying friend..

Michele said...

Oh sweetie... I'm so sorry. I know this is so much on your plate right now. David and Alyssa will help you walk. They will be there with you, guiding each step.

I'm keeping your niece close to my heart in prayer. I'm so very sorry. It is so much for a little girl. We dont know why we are given special challenges like this, but God does have a plan. I dont know what it is... But I know it is there...

Praying for your family...

Tammy On the Go said...

Have you met Max' mommy? go to my blog and click on Miracle Max in my blog list, you both should "meet"...she walks in your shoes