Thursday, December 4, 2008

Found a Place!

After 3 days in Kansas City, we found a house! Now let me tell you first that no matter what, I am grateful we are able to move because of David. I will do anything to make sure he gets the medical care that makes it able for him to come home with us, and that nothing will stop me. But my feelings about KC are mixed at this point.

For what we can afford, and what we could get approved for...well it's not a nice area. We will deal with it no matter what. It's a cute house (even though its still boarded up, I asked if we could leave the boards lol), 2 bedrooms and a full basement. Not a desirable neighborhood though. But I will make the best of it!

Deep down I am disapointed though. We have worked so hard since we moved from Los Angeles to get something better for ourselves, to get the nice house that we are living in. I feel like this is a big set back in that aspect. But in the big picture I see we are are sacrificing everything in the material sense so we can have our precious baby David.

Getting a house, having to come back and pack like crazy is a little overwhelming. I am so uncomfortable all the time, I've made Chris promise me that after I have David and forget how much I didn't like being pregnant anymore that he reminds me! Haha. Just thinking of getting out of the car makes me want to cry, it's just getting so miserable. And I am so scared thinking bout moving, how it makes it all so real that David will be here soon.

I am excited about having my baby, I really really am. Just everything of the unknown, and even the known of his problems is really making me worry and be sad. I just want to know my baby will be okay, that he is going to get the best care possible.

I wish I was one of those mothers who had never had something bad happen in pregnancy, or had a newborn die. I wish I could just be happy and content and just a little nervous about my baby being born. But I'm terrified.

5 comments:

amanda moore said...

Everything will work out in the end you know.
Just take my Jordan for instance they told us @ 18 months that he was born without part of his brain and a mass of extra tissue on the left side of his brain, they told us that Jordan would never walk, or talk and they weren't sure what his life would be like, with 1.5 years of therapy through first steps, and that long of pushing him and not making him think there was something wrong with him, he has done amazing it is all in what you believe if you think and make them think there is something wrong with them than yeah they might not do well, it is all in the strengths that you are willing to have I fought for this child from the day I found out and I keep fighting for him, not a day goes by that I don't look at him and think there isn't no way I would let them tell my that he couldn't do something, it is all in what you are willing to take on and fight for, yeah life has been a strugle for us as well but you fight and make every effort to take him to the best doctors and get him what he needs. Take care.

AmandaHoyt said...

I'm so glad you found a house and I will pray for the Lord to protect you while you live there. I'm praying for Baby David and you all each day.
Hugs,
Amanda

Lauren said...

Congratulations on finding a new house! I'll be praying for you guys as you transition. Even though it may not be the best neighborhood or the home of your dreams, you are doing everything you can to take care of your sweet David. God will be there to guide and protect you!

Michele said...

I know it's hard, but like you said... This is what needs to be done for David. You love him and all the sacrifices are worth it in the end. Senidng prayers your way.

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

thank you for dropping by Matthew's blog.. I hope by seeing how well he's doing gives you some hope. Matthew was so very sick that first year.. spent the first six months of his life in the hospitals... he was a mess... and I didn't think he'd make it...

He is a true miracle...

If you go to my SteelMagnolia blog...
over on the right are "babies I watch" ... go visit Baby Isaac... and Baby Mason... both of these mommies are from Vegas and found out their babies had heart defects while pregnant... they actually have pretty much the same defect Matthew has... Kathy Roller, Isaac's mom is a wonderful wonderful girl...

I will be back..