So Hopeful...

I have a phone conference next week to find out about the settlement for my car accident I was in October. If you don't remember, I had to have my ankle reconstructed and severed an artery in my head. I was 22 weeks pregnant with David and we had been so happy that he wasn't affected. It was about a month later we learned of his problems, the doctors have reassured me it had nothing to do with the accident.

We are not trying to be greedy by far. The girl who hit us (head on) admitted in the police report that she was driving too fast and reckless for the road conditions. But we are praying with all our might that they do us fair, and we get the money we need to get back on our feet. The car accident set us back so far, our truck was totalled, I couldn't work for awhile, and I was in a wheelchair for 2 months. It was VERY hard. Chris was even laid off because we didn't have a vehicle for awhile.

So please pray that we are treated fairly, and are able to get back on our feet. That we have enough money to get the headstone we want for David. That we are able to buy a bed, and a second car. That's all I'm asking for, even though I'm told we deserve a lot more.

Chris and I went to see movies yesterday before my mom leaves and we have no babysitter. We saw Notorious and Mall Cop. Mall Cop of course was hilarious. Notorious was a little hard at the end, seeing Biggie's mom in such pain talking about how a parent should NEVER bury their own child. I cried thinking bout burying two of my babies. It hurt to the core of my soul.

I didn't tell Chris or anyone, but on the way home I looked in the back seat and was overcome with emotion. Chris just held my hand like he does when I cry, but I didn't explain. All I could think of was that there should be a car seat there with David. That we had hoped he would be out of the hospital in a couple weeks, and it had been 14 days since he left us. Enough time that he shoulda been home with us. He should have been in the car with us, we shouldn't of been going to the movies, but doing something with our son. HE SHOULD BE HERE WITH US!!! The simple view of no car seat in my car can't get out of my head.

I miss you so much Boo Bear, my baby boy...